Moon face

I was in an extremly bad mood today, i felt my chest was squeezed that my heart struggles to pump and my lungs strive to get some air, I felt so bad that i wanted to grab a butcher's knife and stick it between my ribs to cut through my heart and pass the knife along the ribs till i get that feeling out. I didn't want to eat or drink or do anything at all so i went down. And while i am sitting outside my shop meditating in the green bushes and their colorful flowers in the garden, I noticed a face, a face that u can call moon face, well, who did i see, did i see a beauty queen, or my ex-girl friend that i haven't seen for years or an actor or or or. It wasn't any of that i saw my cousin, he is one year older than me and he is living now in the gulf area, i haven't seen over a year, but still, he is a cousin what makes me love that person so much. Lets see, in my life, every one I knew let me down at least once and i mean every one with no exception, except that person, he is the one that never let me down in my whole life. I ran to him and we talked for about 10 minutes, for the whole ten minutes i was smiling from the ear to the ear and laughing out loud in the middle of the street, for the first time i felt free, i felt uncoditionaly happy. For 10 minutes I felt like a whole new person, i no more cared for my acne that's distructing my face, no more cared for my over weight and my lazy bum that is doing nothing useful during that summer till now. It was only ten minutes and when he walked away, i stayed smiling for a minute or two then i returned to my sad state. Today i found that i was uncertain about anything in my life.